tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89818133693668325662024-03-05T22:18:06.044-08:00Dollar Store DeathwishEthan (won't stop till the sodim nitrate forces my heart to) Poehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02892685601823730228noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8981813369366832566.post-21785108055800626642013-01-02T13:36:00.002-08:002013-01-02T20:02:06.222-08:00Review: "Potted Meat"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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Appearance: An ashen pink mush. Malleable, holds its form when sculpted.</div>
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Smell: The familiar fetid aroma of mixed-together, processed animal parts.Very SPAM-like, but more pungent, and much sweeter. The more I smelled it, the more nauseating it became.</div>
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Texture: Soft and mushy - also very gritty. Feels like it dissolves in your mouth but leaves behind grainy particles. Watery and scummy when microwaved, like the protein foam that floats up when you boil meat.<br />
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Taste: Fatty and cloying. The unmistakable taste of processed meat, but with a gush of sweetness and a hint of heat. A taste not found in nature, resembling neither chicken nor beef, as was advertised. The flavors intensify unpleasantly when heated. Primarily tested cold with crackers, but willing to try other pairings. More than several spoonfuls would probably cause food poisoning.</div>
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Verdict: If well-plated and dressed nicely, I think this could pass as a pâté for your less sophisticated friends and enemies. DO NOT MICROWAVE. Still testing other non-edible uses.</div>
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Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07048717752534103353noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8981813369366832566.post-91574709029429592342013-01-02T10:45:00.000-08:002013-01-02T10:45:17.625-08:00Review #1: Brunswick: Potted Meat with Crackers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Odor:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Brunswick
Potted Meat with Crackers has a bouquet containing traces of cat-food, tin,
industrial plastics, sweat, (and corned beef???).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Texture: A paradox wrapped within a contradiction both
strongly mucus like yet unable to fall off the spoon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Taste: Corned beef and raw poultry form an unhappy marriage
within this fine meat slop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Under
the surface notes of meat one detects flavors of paprika and various forms of
radioactive, and non-radioactive metals.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Pairs well with: rotgut poitin, not the crackers that this
was served with.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Could be used for: Considering the wet sand quality of this
product my first guess would be that it one could make a sandcastle out of
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Further meditation suggests
the combination of the grainy texture and the sodium nitrate could produce a
workable discount facial scrub.</span></div>
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Ethan (won't stop till the sodim nitrate forces my heart to) Poehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02892685601823730228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8981813369366832566.post-8120870939979951432013-01-02T08:51:00.001-08:002013-01-02T09:01:01.148-08:00Dollar Store foods. Two brave and weary souls.Hey everyone/no one!<br />
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We'll be reviewing dollar store foods here - an endeavor we've been discussing for ages. Stay tuned for culinary excellence/horror.Angelahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07048717752534103353noreply@blogger.com2